the world goes round and round

Recall how the most appropriate things come to you when you need but least expect them? There's really no believable, sensible explanation for these things, but I like to think it's us remembering old lessons learnt, and picking up the reins again.

I came across an old piece I'd written over two years ago, and I find it astoundingly reflective of my life now. Fascinating how history repeats itself - no, comes back around in spirals* (because after all, one never steps into the same moment** twice) - not only the events, but oneself. This process of inevitable flux, of personal change, is as beautiful and fulfilling as it is painful. The pain soon goes away, though. Yipee.

One wonders, then, at one's ability - nay, irrepressible tendency - to permit oneself the luxury of the same (or similar) experiences, over and over and over again. Old wine in infinite new bottles. One finds it painfully difficult to break conditioning, learn from experiences, and actively seek new ones. Laziness? Perhaps. Routine? Almost certainly. Fear? Absolutely. Days, months, years may go by, but the mind will insist on keeping certain things alive (emotions are a great hand at this), and refuse to learn from experience (getting burnt by a candle flame: standard example). Some call it foolishness; some incorrigible optimism (what if you don't get burnt this time?!).

One is conditioned to human living: fears, hopes, despair (incidentally, Michael Drayton's poem To Despair, part of Idea, is great), vulnerabilities, dependencies are all part of the human condition. One finds it impossible to wean oneself from these, not only because one perceives them as natural, but the effort required is immense. Who would not desire an easy life?

I love how incomplete and muddled this post is. First drafts always reflect half-formed ideas.

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* I believe this was Vico's theory. I haven't verified this. SEP will have something, I'm sure.

** River, moment. What's in a word?